Wake Up And Smoke Some Crack!

AMELIA & THE CRAB Crack comics is back! With a historical reference! (And our prettiest comic to date IMO.) I feel like The Ocean and Mr. T would get along really well.   - Nathan I pity the fool that likes planes. Definitely proud of this one, I think it’s my best so far. Also, everything always looks more awesome after Nathan’s scanned it in. I’m working out of a sketchbook on these now, so theoretically I should be able to keep up on them easier, but who knows how that’ll work out… - Tim
Nov 27

AMELIA & THE CRAB

Crack comics is back! With a historical reference! (And our prettiest comic to date IMO.) I feel like The Ocean and Mr. T would get along really well.  

- Nathan

I pity the fool that likes planes. Definitely proud of this one, I think it’s my best so far. Also, everything always looks more awesome after Nathan’s scanned it in. I’m working out of a sketchbook on these now, so theoretically I should be able to keep up on them easier, but who knows how that’ll work out…

- Tim

FANDOM (feat. Not Cole) After a long hiatus, crack comics has returned. WITH A VENGENCE! And a “SWAG” hat. Imo, if we ever get enough of a fandom to justify merch, that should be an item. Just sayin’. - Nathan  Being so bad about my commitment to sparkle motion W.U.a.S.S.C. These may continue to come slow though… - Tim
May 21

FANDOM (feat. Not Cole)

After a long hiatus, crack comics has returned. WITH A VENGENCE! And a “SWAG” hat. Imo, if we ever get enough of a fandom to justify merch, that should be an item. 
Just sayin’.

- Nathan 

Being so bad about my commitment to sparkle motion W.U.a.S.S.C. These may continue to come slow though…

- Tim

The Hat Man Cometh (Guest Comic by Jeffers) So as you (all 16 of you) may or may not have noticed, we’ve been slackin’ on the comicks lately. This is because Tim is a busy little beaver and has all the irons in all the fires. I’m busy too, but not so much that I can’t devote 30 seconds to cranking out a script…BUT I DIGRESS,  here is a comic by our friend about a man who can make hats appear. I hope it is crack enough.  
May 7

The Hat Man Cometh (Guest Comic by Jeffers)

So as you (all 16 of you) may or may not have noticed, we’ve been slackin’ on the comicks lately. This is because Tim is a busy little beaver and has all the irons in all the fires. I’m busy too, but not so much that I can’t devote 30 seconds to cranking out a script…
BUT I DIGRESS,  here is a comic by our friend about a man who can make hats appear. I hope it is crack enough.  

DREAM DATE NIGHTMARE or I THOUGHT WE HAD A CONNECTION! (pt. 2) When I wrote this, I had a whole marching band coming in with nipple man to congratulate Cokey the coke head McCokester for killing that bitch. I thought it would be totally absurd and hilarious. I didn’t however think of how much of a pain in the ass that it would be to draw. So I totally don’t blame you for excluding the brass section, Tim. Overall, I think this two part endeavor turned out pretty well. Congratulatory butt seck- I mean back pats are in order. I totally meant back pats…  - Nathan P.S. You (the reader, and probably also Tim) may be wondering why our other comic featuring white hooded rapist was considered NSFW but this one wasn’t. Well, it’s a combination of me being lazy and there being a dick silhouette in the previous one. So there!  Yeah, I didn’t really want to try to draw, and cram a marching band in these tiny panels, let alone do I actually know how to draw a marching band. I’m super annoyed with how the coke head looks. I don’t know if he’s wrong, but he just doesn’t seem to match himself in the previous comic. Other than that, I don’t really have anything to say. -Tim
Apr 10

DREAM DATE NIGHTMARE or I THOUGHT WE HAD A CONNECTION! (pt. 2)

When I wrote this, I had a whole marching band coming in with nipple man to congratulate Cokey the coke head McCokester for killing that bitch. I thought it would be totally absurd and hilarious. I didn’t however think of how much of a pain in the ass that it would be to draw. So I totally don’t blame you for excluding the brass section, Tim. 
Overall, I think this two part endeavor turned out pretty well. Congratulatory butt seck- I mean back pats are in order. I totally meant back pats… 

- Nathan

P.S. You (the reader, and probably also Tim) may be wondering why our other comic featuring white hooded rapist was considered NSFW but this one wasn’t. Well, it’s a combination of me being lazy and there being a dick silhouette in the previous one. So there! 

Yeah, I didn’t really want to try to draw, and cram a marching band in these tiny panels, let alone do I actually know how to draw a marching band. I’m super annoyed with how the coke head looks. I don’t know if he’s wrong, but he just doesn’t seem to match himself in the previous comic. Other than that, I don’t really have anything to say.

-Tim

DREAM DATE NIGHTMARE or I THOUGHT WE HAD A CONNECTION! There are a couple things that I thoroughly enjoy about this comic. For one: This bro is seriously coked out. Like, he is coked the fuck out. Seriously, how much coke did he snort before he sauntered onto this park bench? How did he get past auditions being so coked out? Why’d we let this guy in our comic, Tim? He’s clearly on coke!In other news, I like how all of the women thus far are creepy sex-doll-esque creatures. I feel like it suits this particular character very well. And the bottom left panel is fantastic. So much coke. - Nathan  I’m slowly taking more and more time to add my portion to these… Anyway, I think I’ve essentially established females as blow-up dolls at this point, because I like how it flows with my style. This guy’s face was a lot of fun, and the rest of this comic is rather pleasing, but I can’t draw benches to save my life. Also, thought bubbles. The next one is already done, as I’m writing this, and I’m so busy right now, but have pretty much no motivation… so we’ll see how often these guys pop up. - Tim
Mar 30

DREAM DATE NIGHTMARE or I THOUGHT WE HAD A CONNECTION!

There are a couple things that I thoroughly enjoy about this comic. For one: This bro is seriously coked out. Like, he is coked the fuck out. Seriously, how much coke did he snort before he sauntered onto this park bench? How did he get past auditions being so coked out? Why’d we let this guy in our comic, Tim? He’s clearly on coke!
In other news, I like how all of the women thus far are creepy sex-doll-esque creatures. I feel like it suits this particular character very well. And the bottom left panel is fantastic. So much coke.

- Nathan 

I’m slowly taking more and more time to add my portion to these… Anyway, I think I’ve essentially established females as blow-up dolls at this point, because I like how it flows with my style. This guy’s face was a lot of fun, and the rest of this comic is rather pleasing, but I can’t draw benches to save my life. Also, thought bubbles. The next one is already done, as I’m writing this, and I’m so busy right now, but have pretty much no motivation… so we’ll see how often these guys pop up.

- Tim

AWESOME PEDO GLASSES Inspired by real events! Rachael had some sick-ass pedophile glasses and as we (Tim, her and I) were sitting in a Chinese eatery I found myself wearing them, staring dreamily out the window at an old lady sitting in the Del Taco across from it. She liked it. But that’s when this idea hit me. I very much enjoy Dude’s sweet hair and how awesome he struts. STRUT IS AN ONOMATOPOEIA NOW. DEAL WITH IT.  - Nathan Took me way too long to edit it. Anyway, so when I initially made this I wasn’t really planning on making Bernard a feces monster, but that’s what it ended up looking like… either way I think he looks ok. I’m mostly just proud of how tight-knit the colour palette is in this one, and fun fact; drawing these glasses sucked. I ain’t no good at drawin’ them thurr sunglasses. Next week’s comic may be a bit late, and Nathaniel just dropped me a ton of new scripts. -Tim
Mar 20

AWESOME PEDO GLASSES

Inspired by real events! Rachael had some sick-ass pedophile glasses and as we (Tim, her and I) were sitting in a Chinese eatery I found myself wearing them, staring dreamily out the window at an old lady sitting in the Del Taco across from it. She liked it. 
But that’s when this idea hit me. I very much enjoy Dude’s sweet hair and how awesome he struts. STRUT IS AN ONOMATOPOEIA NOW. DEAL WITH IT. 

- Nathan

Took me way too long to edit it. Anyway, so when I initially made this I wasn’t really planning on making Bernard a feces monster, but that’s what it ended up looking like… either way I think he looks ok. I’m mostly just proud of how tight-knit the colour palette is in this one, and fun fact; drawing these glasses sucked. I ain’t no good at drawin’ them thurr sunglasses. Next week’s comic may be a bit late, and Nathaniel just dropped me a ton of new scripts.

-Tim

69 Red Love Balloons  This was the original script I hastily scrawled onto a piece of notebook paper. Tim then drew it, I laughed a great deal, and now we have this tumblr and we’re making this comic. The frame where the “Licker Stur” proprietor is handing Schmoopy the balloons is easily my favorite. Those are some expressive balloons. Kinky Balloon is my favy.  - Nathan I feel like we have quite a few NSFW comics… anyway, I now have to rearrange the order of comics for things to make sense it turns out, and this was the original one, but I have to introduce it now. So, comics might be staggering for a while due to the fact that I have a lot of other work to get done. especially between now and the 25th. - Tim
Mar 12

69 Red Love Balloons 

This was the original script I hastily scrawled onto a piece of notebook paper. Tim then drew it, I laughed a great deal, and now we have this tumblr and we’re making this comic. The frame where the “Licker Stur” proprietor is handing Schmoopy the balloons is easily my favorite. Those are some expressive balloons. Kinky Balloon is my favy. 

- Nathan

I feel like we have quite a few NSFW comics… anyway, I now have to rearrange the order of comics for things to make sense it turns out, and this was the original one, but I have to introduce it now. So, comics might be staggering for a while due to the fact that I have a lot of other work to get done. especially between now and the 25th.

- Tim

DISTANT GALAXIES ARE SO OVER-RATED The last 3 panels. Sweet jegus those panels. Excellent job with the pressed against the glass nipples. Beautiful. Just beautiful. Also, slightly obscured 8-mile reference.   - Nathan Ok, so last time I drew our Spandex Spaz he had a bit darker of a suit, but the shading was wonky. He shaded better now, but I feel like his suit is blending with is skin too much… anyway, drawing Nipple Man here was probably the best part. I think we’re taking a break from these two for the next few comics, and also, I think we’re gonna try to have a comic once a week, but I make no promises. -Tim
Mar 6

DISTANT GALAXIES ARE SO OVER-RATED

The last 3 panels. Sweet jegus those panels. Excellent job with the pressed against the glass nipples. Beautiful. Just beautiful. 
Also, slightly obscured 8-mile reference.  

- Nathan

Ok, so last time I drew our Spandex Spaz he had a bit darker of a suit, but the shading was wonky. He shaded better now, but I feel like his suit is blending with is skin too much… anyway, drawing Nipple Man here was probably the best part. I think we’re taking a break from these two for the next few comics, and also, I think we’re gonna try to have a comic once a week, but I make no promises.

-Tim

ORIGINS OF THE UNIVERSE! Tim’s depiction of not me as an extremely pale, extremely hairy, extremely spastic nerd is completely and irrefutably… true. It’s all true. I have to say the frame where I’m saying “Let’s do this” is probably the most accurate picture anyone has ever drawn of me. And the bow tie and the collared shirt. Just everything. Spot on, Tim. Spot fucking on. - Nathan I enjoyed this one a lot, but I drew myself derpier and derpier in each panel, which is rather annoying. I like how completely apathetic Nathan wrote me to be, and recently I’ve gotten into wearing shirts that show off my sweet man cleavage, so I made sure to draw that in there. Also, in reality our art room is room 240, so I thought it was appropriate. -Tim
Feb 19

ORIGINS OF THE UNIVERSE!

Tim’s depiction of not me as an extremely pale, extremely hairy, extremely spastic nerd is completely and irrefutably… true. It’s all true. I have to say the frame where I’m saying “Let’s do this” is probably the most accurate picture anyone has ever drawn of me. And the bow tie and the collared shirt. Just everything. Spot on, Tim. Spot fucking on.
- Nathan

I enjoyed this one a lot, but I drew myself derpier and derpier in each panel, which is rather annoying. I like how completely apathetic Nathan wrote me to be, and recently I’ve gotten into wearing shirts that show off my sweet man cleavage, so I made sure to draw that in there. Also, in reality our art room is room 240, so I thought it was appropriate. -Tim

WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!? In the script I wrote “Princess Bukake is in a dungeon, chained to the wall by her ankles”. When I wrote it I just imagined her with one of those ball and chain things only it’s attached to the wall. When I saw her hanging upside down I died. The fact that she’s in that position and her name is Princess Bukake is just priceless. Priceless. I’m willing to forgive the dialogue changes in the last two panels just because of how kinky that shit is. Also, dat explosion. - Nathan Ok, I’m just gonna have to start off with my ill feelings towards how I coloured that explosion, and its cheese-whizz-esque appearance. I do think it’s the best explosion I’ve ever drawn, however. Also, I’m satisfied with the fact that I actually Included a background with this one. I’ll try to have no. Four done soon, but I have not yet started on it. -Tim
Feb 12

WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!?

In the script I wrote “Princess Bukake is in a dungeon, chained to the wall by her ankles”. When I wrote it I just imagined her with one of those ball and chain things only it’s attached to the wall. When I saw her hanging upside down I died. The fact that she’s in that position and her name is Princess Bukake is just priceless. Priceless. I’m willing to forgive the dialogue changes in the last two panels just because of how kinky that shit is.
Also, dat explosion.
- Nathan

Ok, I’m just gonna have to start off with my ill feelings towards how I coloured that explosion, and its cheese-whizz-esque appearance. I do think it’s the best explosion I’ve ever drawn, however. Also, I’m satisfied with the fact that I actually Included a background with this one. I’ll try to have no. Four done soon, but I have not yet started on it.
-Tim